Mr. Bad Karma

I just don’t get most open source CMS systems out there. I mean, god damn, they all seem to be perfect for showing off a demo of the CMS itself (using the default template). Try to build an actual web site using the CMS with your own layout and site structure will result in endless file stabbing, coding marathons, blood, sweat, tears, insanity and general mayhem. CMS stands for Content Management System, not Coding Myself Silly. I mean I want a simple tool to create and update a custom layout front page plus a set of identical layout individual pages. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong.

First of all I need to disable all kinds of pre-enabled calendars, news sections, contact forms, trackbacks, pingbacks, rss feeds, flying bats, asslicks and whatnots. Then I need to disassemble the default "simple" theme which is always a complicated tangle of tables or mile long css definitions in the flavor of Web 2.0. Oh and you need to be careful not to remove a specific block of html code around the very non descriptive template variables, if you do you never ever get that variable to show content properly again.

Only after this you can start to plan and implement your own layout that is much harder than it seems at the first because if you delete a component from the layout you really don’t need either something else stops working or then it just appears even though you think you’ve just removed it from the site. Not to mention your site layout has to be divided in to several different files because the CMS system expects that you have a left side menu, top menu, right menu, footer, content column. All other layout setups are just impossible. Oh and don’t even dream about having two language versions if you want to keep your sanity. That’s just not possible without rewriting half of the CMS code yourself.

Finally after you have somehow created a decent looking site, they publish a critical security fix for the CMS, your site stops working. Usually there goes your theme flying out the window, you can watch it fly but it also makes you cry.

There was a long period in my life where I never was on any list despite that I had registered beforehand and depending on the situation, even paid some fee.

It all really started when I was going to my first ever school day. We had moved to a new neighborhood few months back and I had been enrolled to the new school by my parents. However on the first day when I went to the school nobody had me on any lists so in the end I spend 5 minute of the beginning of my learning career by having two teachers fighting over me. So I had to choose which teacher’s class I’d want to go and I think I may have chosen the less psycho teacher that time.

Then I can clearly remember of not being on any list was the start of some summer camp few yers later (and I think that might have happened on two summers in a row) even though we had paid up and gotten the information sheets. The were really close at least on the first time of not letting me into the bus without proof that we had paid the camp fee.

Next bigger one that I remember was the start of the high school. I had been accepted to the school only 3 days before it started so my first day was spent by going in to different classes and having to explain in the each one that no I am not on your list and yes I will be on your list and yes I am 100% sure I am in the right school and yes I was told to take this class and I can’t help if you like it or not.

Also a summer language prep course before high school senior year started with me having to explain that I have been enrolled well in advance and having to exhibit all the related documents. That confusion landed me a room with a dude that during camp concentrated mostly on acting psycho, drinking beer and playing heavy metal on loud regardless of the hour. Needless to say I wasn’t enjoying it all that much. 

At somepoint I just gave up. Wherever I would go that needed preregistration I just introduced myself as "I am Mr. Bad Karma and most likely I am not on your list." And I was right almost without exceptions.

I don’t know what happened in the end but for last couple years I haven’t had this problem anymore. I can go to any course or event and trust that my name is on the roll call list … for now.